This just makes me giggle.

I know, I know! I wish I had a picture of THE LOOK he threw us when we were laughing after he tipped the scale over.

He was like, “you motherfuckers…”

That is hilarious. The cat was probably like, oh diet food? Fuck you, I’m just going to stop metabolizing period.*

*cats can control the speed of their metabolism at will, it’s true. They’re wizards.

We totally got THE TALK from the Vet too. She was like, “now, I know George is a big tall guy with a lot of muscle but…he is overweight too.” 

We don’t feed him THAT much! I swear. Plus no people food. 

George has been doing some recreational (read: on the couch on the back porch) peeing for the last couple weeks. So we took him to the vet this morning, because that could be a sign of a UTI (he has some bacteria and he got an antibiotic shot) and he also needed a bunch of shots. Poor George!

No but he’s a big dude. The vet tech went to put him on the scale to get his weight and she put him on sort of awkwardly at first and he literally tipped the scale over. With his weight. So the next time you feel bad about your weight, comfort yourself with the fact that your fat ass isn’t literally upending the scale. And then we all laughed. Later on the way home we laughed again and I might have cried a little I was laughing so hard. 

For the record 17.5 lbs. 

They’ve janked up gmap-pedometer. 

Ugh. Why. It was perfect how it was.

Our dinner guests just got here. I thought they were coming at 7 but now checking my emails I see I said come at 6:30-7 which I (in my chronic lateness) read as 7. Me to myself: wait didn’t I say 7 (looks at emails) ohhhhhh.

And I just got out of the shower, sitting here in my bathrobe, tumbling.

Oh sure.

Seriously, I have such a soft spot for that woman. I think most people who grew up watching Sesame Street do.

Um…I’m going to guess by inserting their erect penis into some sort of human (I hope!) receptacle?